A ticket to the semi-finals of university

I’m not really doing so well with this whole blog affair am I? I started off well, thinking I’d never run out of things to write about. But at the end of the day, I have.

It’s not so much that I’ve run out of things to write about, just that I’ve run out of INTERESTING things to write about. Still, in a blog about myself, there’s a fairly limited number of things I am going to think are interesting, so I guess I’ll just get on with it and ramble about myself a bit more, eh?

So, my first year of university has come to pass, in a relatively dull fashion. I was going to say “uneventful” and “predictable” in that sentence, though I suppose that would be a lie. It would also be a lie to say that this was the easy first year I was expecting, or that I put in anywhere near enough effort.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever learn from my mistakes, or if I’ll always keep scraping through on the last minutes of deadlines, the minimum of passes at the early stages, and the least effort required. I can say now that my intention is to put in 100% effort, do all my work on time, and start revising sooner than a week before my exams next year… but I say that every year. Each year I seem to get closer and closer to just getting what I need, and one of these days it’s going to go too far.

Still, the results were decent. I got 70% or so in  my programming class, which is pretty good by university standards.  My other classes averaged out at around 60%, which isn’t bad, but considering what I had to do at the last minute to scrape that, and the level of some of the stuff, I should be getting higher than that. I guess some would say “what are you complaining about”, and less successful people would hate me for being able to do that well with so little effort, but the truth is, I know I can do better than that. I’m -capable- of getting a top level degree, I’m capable of being the best in my class (from what I’ve heard I actually got similar/a bit lower) to most other people in the class this year), and I was capable of getting MUCH higher grades than I did this year.

From being a top-of-the-class quiet kid who had nothing more to his life than school, I’ve coasted through the latter half of secondary school and college with the attitude that it doesn’t really matter. And it really didn’t. I suddenly realised around year 9, that it doesn’t MATTER if I get straight As. I knew I had the potential to get them at the time, but I was content to give in passable work because at the end of the day, that was all that mattered. Every exam was just a ticket to get you through to the NEXT exam, and the requirements were low. As long as you showed more potential than a comatosed gnat, they’d quite gladly let you go on another year for some more exams. It wasn’t until college that I had a bit of a wake up call when I realised that my grades were starting to matter. Of course, it was still just another entry requirement for some more exams at university, but this was something I actually wanted. After seeing some of the better and worse universitys, I realised that I really would like to go to a good one, and not a bad one.

But still, I achieved the bare minimum requirements after recovering from an extreme slump at the start of college. I always thought though, that at the end of the day, when it came down to it at university, there was no reason why I couldn’t do everything, get top results, and come out with a 1st degree.

I’m still waiting for that day to come, the day where I suddenly realise that I need to put in some hard work, to prioritise doing coursework in good time, to study as I’m going along and not at the last minute. I can say that I’ve realise that now, but I’ve said it before. I hope that next year I can kick myself into gear, but I’ll just have to wait and see.

The exams were.. not fun. It didn’t help that I’d missed a bunch of the classes, and couldn’t begin to understand half of the maths stuff. As I’ve said before, I’m not a fan of the teaching methods in university, especially for maths, but that’s no excuse. Half of it was stuff I’d done before, so I could have learned it if I put in the effort. At the end of the day, I was glad to actually pass the exams (which I honestly didn’t think I’d do) given the amount I’d studied for them.

Still, at the end of the day, the exam results weren’t all that important in comparison to what I’d done already for coursework. I passed well enough overall, and I go back to learn another year next year. Thing is, next year actually matters. This year doesn’t count towards my overall grade, it’s another of those tickets to the next round. But now it’s really time for me to unlock the supposedly hidden talent that I keep thinking I have, and hope it hasn’t shrivelled up and died by now.

For now though, I’m going to enjoy the summer. Right now I’m relaxing with my parents in cornwall, but next week I’ll be back to good old Southampton to see my friends. Can’t wait.